Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One.

photo credit - Mike Labrum via unsplash

WARNING - This blog post may be triggering if you have lost someone to suicide. Please be mindful of yourselves and proceed with this in mind.

Suicide is a devastating act that can leave us in the dark. It is something that usually comes out of nowhere and makes us question everything we thought we knew about someone. A few thoughts I have had when I have experienced this loss in the past have been.

• “They were so happy all the time, they were the life of the party.”

• “They never said anything to me, or did they?”

• “Maybe if I was a better friend, they would still be here.”

These thoughts are ok to have and are natural to have as a human being. It is important, however, to realize that people who suffer from depression and anxiety often do not want to burden others with their own struggles. So, many times, they put up a front and their depression/anxiety is hidden from the world.
There are other things that we as survivors of suicide have to face as well. Things such as the stigma o shame related to suicide. Mnay religions consider the act to be a sin. ANd depending on the specific religion, this type of death could prevent burial rights, tremendously hindering the grieving process.

We also have very mixed emotions when it comes to suicide. When someone is killed by another we can direct our outrage at the perpetrator. In suicide, however, the perpetrator is also the victim. We are saddened by the loss and attribute it to them being victims of their own mental health struggles; but, we also feel rejected or cast aside by them so we feel anger or resentment.

As human being we also seek out reasoning. The “what if” questions can start off as one or two, and quickly lead to a multitude of extreme and self punishing questions. We often give ourselves too much credit in being abe to predict and affect such outcomes.

If you, or a loved one, has experienced loss by suicide; reach out. Whether it be individual counseling, or a support group; find comfort through support.