Processing life altering diagnosis.
photo credit -
National Cancer Institute via unsplash
When most people hear the term trauma, they think about things like combat situations, natural disasters, war, terrorist attacks, domestic violence, rape or other violent and potentially physically damaging events that have a lasting effect. However, there is also trauma in learning that you have a life altering disgnosis. Cancer, multiple sclerosis, having a heart attack, contracting HIV or an STD through intercourse or other acccidental methods; all of these situations uproot our lives and can be extremely traumatic experiences for us.
The trauma comes from a few places from what I have seen in previous clients and through my own research.
The diagnosis comes out of nowhere - One day you are fine and living your life normally. Then out of nowhere you have a “strange cough that just won’t go away.”. Or a new sensation of pain or tightness in your chest that happened right after a stressful situation.
Our abilities decline due to diagnosis - You lose physical and mental abilities that have always come easy for you. You are now having to ask for help and start to feel like a burden on the people that you care about.
You’re stuck in a stage of grief - I talk to clients often about the stages of grief. They are not just applied to the loss of a loved one. They also apply to many other forms of trauma such as what I am talking about here. If you get stuck in a particular stage, and can’t move forward, that festers and compunds the trauma you are experiencing.
There are ways to address this trauma so that it does not rule our lives or completely change who we are.
Educate yourself - There was a saying I learned during my days in the Army, “know the game before you try to play it.”. While this saying was applied in different context I like it for this situation as well. Learn all you can about this new diagnosis. Learn what to expect, how small life changes can make the transitions easier etc.
Lean into your support system - YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN! (That’s me yelling it for those in the back). Your support sysytem is there because they love you. Have a conversation with them, let them know what is happening (to your own comfort level of course). They might surprise ou with how they jump into action and help.
Seek professional help - Call me, seriously. Starting counseling, talking to your provider, seeking support groups, learnig how to navigate your new way of life is an absolute must. Trying to process this on our own, while possible, is like starting a new career that you have 0 experience in without any guidance or training.
I have seen these things happen in my personal life. I have someone that I am very close to that has had a life altering diagnosis. To ensure their privacy I am not disclosing their identity or dignosis here. This person has had a decline in mental and physical symptoms due to their diagnosis. It all started with vision problems and over time, cognitive abilities declined, stress from their job manifested physical symptoms and they were a shadow of their former selves. This is what trauma can look like. A slow deterioration of our personalities and who we are until we are a completely different person. This individual had since gotten help and is leading a happier life and is looking more like their old self.
If you or someone you know recently got a life changing diagnosis and need help with processing it and moving forward. Reach out to me.