Grief and Trauma
photo credit
K. Mitch Hodge via unsplash
I was reminded of a different kind of trauma by one of my friends not long ago. To say they lost someone important to them would be an understatement. Trauma is personal to each of us. It is not clearly defined as "combat, natural disaster, or something glaringly obvious". Trauma can be anything that causes a lasting effect on our lives. It can be a forced move, a loss in our cognitive abilities, a diagnosis that will alter our lives in a way that changes how we live, or in this case the loss of a loved one.
Loss is a natural part of life. We all know that our lives are not eternal on this earth; and yet somehow, we are still taken by surprise when someone we hold dear to us passes. Especially when it is out of the blue and not expected. We may experience thinking that it is “all just a bad dream” or be in a state of shock due to the abruptness of it. Among all of these feelings we experience we also want ot be heard, seen, and have what we are experiencing validated; either by others or by our selves. Please do not misunderstand, I do not say that meaning that people look for attention, that is way off from what I mean here. I mean, to have what we are experiencing acknowledged on a deeper than surface level. For others, or our own self to sit with the loss and trauma we experience with these losses and really reflect on what impact they have on our lives. So many times we stay on the surface with grief because anything deeper feels like it will be too painful. Truth be told, it will be extremely painful. It will have us going through every emotion we have and it will be exhausting. But, if we process it and come out the other side, we will be better for it. We can experience the loss in a way that doesn’t stop our worlds.
Loss of a loved one, serious medical diagnosis, loss of cognitive abilties and other life altering experiences can shatter us at our core. They say “time heals all wounds”, anyone that has experienced loss can tell you that this saying is true to an extent. There is no set time, it varies by individual. If you or someone you know is struggling with the loss of a loved one; reach out.